There is a big difference between a Bad Cook and a Lazy Cook.

Bad Cooks shed a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Bad Cooks toil through critical deficits in planning skills and situational awareness, wasting $100 and a day on a single meal that ultimately tastes like ear wax. If you're calling yourself a Bad Cook, there really should be some property damage in your culinary history. And maybe a few 911 calls.

Eating popcorn and/or Cheerios 20 meals a week does not make you a Bad Cook. That just means you don't try.

That is a smart choice when camping.

Until this year, I lived by that wisdom. My camping menu was simple. Sleek. Elegant.

» Ramen noodles

» Beef jerky

» Pickled herring

» Ten High

The absence of stress was SO worth the subsequent week of constipation.

But not everyone is willing to face the pain. When Foodie Boyfriend casually asked me to plan meals for our camping trip to southern Utah, I shifted from Lazy Cook to Bad Cook.

I spent hours looking up camping recipes online and coordinating food and equipment lists for each day. If we do egg scramble on Friday morning, we can save some of the mushrooms and onions for the tinfoil campfire pizza sandwiches on Friday night. But would we rather have the mushrooms and onions with the steak? Or should we do sausage and pancakes on Friday and save some of the sausage for the pizza sandwiches? How many different Tupperware things do I need to bring to save these dual-use ingredients? Boyfriend said to remember vegetables. Does that count the sweet potato with the steak? Will this premade bean-and-gorgonzola salad taste good with both dinners? (No. Do not premake bean salad for camping. It ends up tasting like garbage.)

As we packed the car Thursday night, Boyfriend looked at the cooler. The cover teetered on the onions.

"I think you got too much food. And what's all that Tupperware for?"

"It's -- the onion -- if we do sausage -- uh, sandwiches ... just trust me," I stammered.

We never did make the pizza sandwiches. We were too tired after hiking on Day 1, so we ate cookies and beer. And while I was psyched to attempt a steak dinner all pioneery on a campfire for Day 2, my enthusiasm eventually drowned in all the dirty dishes. God. It was neverending. Boyfriend and friends offered to help, but my one job that weekend was to be in charge of food, and after all that planning I was not about to relinquish my position, and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COOKING AREA, PEOPLE.

And so I will remember this camping trip as the weekend I spent washing pans and eating the world's assiest sweet potatoes.

If you're a Bad Cook, don't take the disaster on a camping trip. Let the foodies deal with the food. They actually seem to like it, and you still have hiking, bonfires and Ten High to show for your weekend.

If you're a Lazy Cook, don't ever change.

Erin Alberty has more Utah adventures and musings on her blog, poorpenmanship.com.