On my first Utah hike, I barfed all over the trail.

It was so sad. Since preschool I'd been dreaming of mountains, and there I was, hurling in front of my buddies in Big Cottonwood Canyon.

"Dude, it's morning sickness!" they clucked. "Don't worry, we'll help you raise the baby."

Fortunately for DCFS, my problem was acclimation -- or a lack thereof: to the altitude, to the dryness, to walking uphill, to everything. I drank some water, caught my breath and felt better. It's been OK since then.

But don't underestimate the pain for your out-of-towner guests.

My Iowa parents visited last week, and we made several trips into the Wasatch. Together we came up with some ways to help friends in low places learn to love the mountains.

1 » Choose a destination.

An overlook, a lake, a summit, a pass, a meadow, a waterfall -- a landmark is more motivational than just turning back anywhere.

2 » Watch the slope.

A few steep sections may be fine for new hikers, but a constant uphill is tough for those used to rolling hills. Keep it gradual. My parents had NO trouble with the 865-foot gain from Albion Basin to Catherine's Pass, but the next day they hated the first 600 feet up the Lake Mary trail. Why? Because we were walking straight up the mountain. There were no breaks or new views for nearly three-quarters of a mile above Brighton's parking lot. It wasn't fun, it wasn't explore-y. It was just punishing.

3 » Find some rocks.

When flatlanders imagine mountains, they see boulders, cliffs and peaks of bare stone. Put them in contact with some exposed rock so they feel like they're really ON a mountain.

4 » Pack for Victory Saloon.

Carry up food and drinks for a celebration at your destination. Don't give the newbies too much booze if they're feeling the height.

5 » Let them lead -- and don't step on their heels.

The front hiker gets to set the pace, find the path and see everything first. Following sucks in comparison. Unless your guests are really uncomfortable leading, assume they'll have more fun up front.

6 » Don't be a dick.

Let your guests quit if they want. Sure, you can tell how much farther to the end. But don't whine about how "You're almost there! You can't stop now!" My mom turned back just a quarter-mile before Lake Mary and promptly filled a hanky with blood. I was so glad I hadn't bullied her to finish.

The mountains affect everyone differently, so have a plan B: a pretty drive, a lower walk, a restaurant with a view.

It should be great so long as everyone remembers they're on vacation.

Erin Alberty has more Utah adventures and musings on her blog, poorpenmanship.com.